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You’re a good person. You open doors for people. You say please and thank you.
You pay for the single grape you’ve eaten while doing your grocery shopping.
You’re a good person. You open doors for people. You say please and thank you.
You pay for the single grape you’ve eaten while doing your grocery shopping.
You’re smart, capable, and hardworking. You help out when needed.
Sure you could carve out time for some self-care. And yes, you need to start eating more vegetables for fiber, constipation at your age is a serious problem.
But overall, you’re pretty darn good.
So why does life feel so unfair? Why does every day feel like you’re not getting anywhere? And why is it that everyday you feel like your head is going to explode?
So what’s the problem?
You’ve been patient, waiting for your moment—but it hasn’t come.
Instead of feeling accomplished, connected, and fulfilled, you feel... stuck.
Resentful.
Like the universe is playing a cruel game of “watch her hustle but don’t reward her.”
So what’s the deal?
Here are 3 possible culprits.
#1 You’re following the rules, but the rules are broken.
You were taught that being nice, agreeable, and patient would get you the gold star.
But being nice doesn't always win the race.
You know who stands out?
People who speak up, stand firm, and stop worrying about everyone else’s opinion.
If you’re trying to be everyone’s best friend, how can anyone see you for the rockstar you truly are?
#2 You’re trying to be liked more than respected.
You bend over backward to make others comfortable even though you want to rip them a new one.
And after years of doing this, you’ve lost your voice.
Problem is, being liked doesn’t pay the bills nor does it support healthy, balanced, 2-way relationships.
Being respected does.
#3 You think self-doubt means you’re not ready.
So you second-guess yourself every time, huh?
Welcome to the club—everyone does.
Seriously.
Even the top experts in their field question themselves.
Doubt isn’t a sign that you’re unqualified; it’s a sign that you’re pushing your limits. Keep going.
The Self-Respect Shift
Confidence is about believing you can do something. But self-respect? That’s about knowing you deserve it.
And the truth is, when you start respecting yourself, the whole game changes.
Here’s how to make the shift from constantly seeking validation to building solid self-respect:
1. Set boundaries around your time and energy.
You’re not a human doormat. Set clear limits on what you’ll give, and prioritize your goals—your own dreams, not just everyone else’s expectations.
2. Speak up—without over-explaining.
You don’t have to justify your ideas or soften your words to make people comfortable. Say what you mean and move on.
The people who value your voice will hear you, and the rest? Well, that’s their problem.
3. Own your success.
Stop pretending you’re not as amazing as you are.
You worked hard for that success, and it’s time to own it.
You don’t need to downplay your achievements to keep everyone around you comfy.
Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.
The Hard Truth: Stop Playing Small
Here’s the bottom line: No one benefits from you playing small.
Confidence might get you in the door, but self-respect?
That’s what keeps you standing tall in the room.
When you respect yourself, you teach others to do the same.
DrK xoxo
Until next time,
Back yourself,
Bet on yourself and
Be Respected.
DrK x
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